it is getting heavy

the sad are super strong tonight. my refi fell apart for some reason. last week they said all my stuff is fine, this week it isn’t. it would have REALLY taken a lot of pressure off me to refi. now that worry plus the singleness are still heavy.

i have been going out more. went to a book signing with my FAVORITE author, Christopher Moore. he signed “blessings!” in my copy of Lamb.

went to book club tonight. go to see the goths. i like them. they are all married.

work work work. which will have to continue, until i can dig out of this financial position. life. but i’d rather be dating.

suppose to start my cat dress tomorrow with rosie. just want to hide in bed. not enough sleep will happen. i think i may send a note saying i have to start later. must go to bank, then i can sleep a little more. want to get pattern and fabric cut tomorrow. more than that is probably asking for too much frustration.

i was exchanging emails with my psychiatrist about changes in my meds. in my last email i said what i wanted to try. no reply so far.


going to read some romantic female and lead detective story before bed. i think i might start crying again (no this minute, just in general).

new nurse cat tattoo is finished.  and amazing.

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