i’ve been busy. sorry about that. i work a lot. and i spend a lot of time with kyle. and i try to still see my friends. i baked a coffee cake…literally, for my coworkers. busy.
Kyle and i are playing house this week. his roommate is out of town so i moved in for the week. of course, i work Mon-Wed. so when he is getting up, i am getting home. i did some grocery shopping and we have meals through Thursday. kyle doesn’t eat well. it isn’t crazy horrible, like the pts on my floor, but his health was the number one concern i had in starting this relationship. i need to find a way to talk about it. but i fear i will do it wrong. he loves to cook, is happy to cook for me. but not himself. i understand exhausted. though i don’t feel this way at my current job, i understand beat down by your job. this is SUCH a big issue for me though. i don’t want to be a nurse at home. which i told him. but i also don’t want to have to end a relationship over health. how to address it? won’t see therapist for another week. and the living together thing makes me very nervous. my space is so importantly MY space. i am very reluctant to share which is probably a bad attitude. but I’d rather he live next door. it isn’t not wanting to make a commitment. as it is now, i could see myself with kyle long into the future. but sharing my space? REALLY hard. weird. I know.
things are good otherwise. we are having a lot of fun. being in a consciously committed relationship for the first time since high school (and sort of my marriage) feels new and very exciting. it’s fun. i get to be silly. i get to get in the shower and introduce myself as “your washer, today”, before i go to sleep for the day and he goes to work. i get to hug him when i want. it’s a whole lot of fun.