i had another date with the interesting boy my age.  we went for massages.  he paid.  it was kind of him considering i am a nurse.  i felt a little weird about letting him pay for it but i really loved getting a massage.  we went to lunch after.  and he said something odd, he said “i am glad you wear that lipstick, it makes you look prettier”.  i did the turn head to the side thing.  he then realized he had said something REALLY rude.  and then he blew it 3 more times.  and then i said to him “my ex-husband had a boss that once said ‘when you are in a hole, stop digging.'”  he said “you know what i mean though, right?”.  uh, no.  i felt a bit bad for him.  he finally said, “what should i have said?”.  i replied, “your lipstick looks pretty.” “uh, yeah.”  perhaps this is why he is single at 48?  i still like him.  i was actually more bothered by a trend i am seeing.  he mentioned a documentary he saw recently about divorce and commented, “I had no idea how corrupt the whole system is. And there is so much lying that goes on. Women falsely claim that men beat them or sexually abused the kids. All to get sympathy from the judge.” and then at lunch he talked about women lying about being on birth control to get pregnant on purpose.  see a pattern?  i see a pattern.  would this be one of those relationships where i had to always defend my intentions as a female of the species?

dating.  meh.

went to karaoke with mars and some of her friends.  then 80s night at the highball.  it actually made me kind of sad because the other the girls all have husbands/fiancees.  but the music was really good.

then i had dessert with the odd boy.  i asked him what his kink was.  he said he didn’t want to tell me yet.  it is pretty hard to come up with something to talk about after someone says they don’t want to share their kink yet.  i tried.

then i went to voodoo donuts and took them to the office.  i buy my friends with donuts :>

so, lucy and i had a miscommunication and our kitchen sink got REALLY clogged.  some friends made some FB suggestions as to how to fix it.  i managed to get the trap off and one other pipe piece.  i needed to take the t-piece attached to the disposal to get the most important junction.  but i was totally on my way.  my friends Joel and Kate came by to lend a hand.  Joel even had gloves and safety glasses!  but it is all fixed now and i feel that i have learned some important skills!

so….the BEAUTIFUL, tall 21 year-old, barista at circa asked me out on a date.  i will admit, in my 20-lb heavier vanity, i had lamented that he was not interested in me.  and then he asked me out.  as you know, dear reader, i have a new rule, no playmates. but this boy is SO cute! couldn’t i just bend the rule a little?

and if i am so very tickled by this date offer, what about the new boy i have been chatting with? (we have only been out once)  perhaps this is merely flattery in the face of my additional 20 lbs and lack of interested fellows?

got called off at hospice.  life things tomorrow.  i LOVE life things.

i did the grocery shopping.  but now i have to chop stuff and make my snacks and i really just want to sit on the couch, with my cat, and watch Murdoch Mysteries.  the idea of sitting on the couch and watching tv is quite attractive to me these days.

so, on Murdoch Mysteries there is a character named george.  he is a constable (the show is set in Toronto in the late 1800/early 1900s).  he always has these crazy ideas…that turn out to be real products that would have made him a very rich man.  in the most recent episode i watched, he and a fellow constable were painting a photograph by numbers and he states one could great kits like this and sell them.  the constable he is working with scoffs.  they are a cute recurring addition to the show.

so, i told boytoy that i didn’t want to sleep together if he visits town.  i feel bad, sort of.  i mean, i like ross, but i don’t feel comfortable with my place in his life and how i have been treated.  more than that, i am trying to change the sex i have.  over the course of our relationship i have offered him support, unflinching.  and i mean that.  if he needs a home, somewhere to recuperate or hide for just a little while, i am happy to extend that.  i am MORE than happy to be a shoulder to cry on.  but i can’t be a naked body to snuggle next to.  it isn’t good for me, and ultimately, i don’t think it is good for him.

i did have a fabulous date this week.  i had a conversation with a friend in the goth scene about how hard it is to date in one’s forties and he had a similar conversation with this fellow.  so he connected us.  we chatted via Facebook for a week or two and went out to dinner on friday.  he keeps late hours which makes it easy for us to talk.  he went on a business trip and then visited family in manhattan.  it is easy to converse with him.  he asks me questions.  that is one of the issues i find in dating.  men talk, but they don’t ask any questions.  i find myself asking the questions.  this is more balanced.  he has some secrets, or so it seems from what he doesn’t seem to be sharing.  but most people do.  i generally don’t have secrets, but i think it is natural that most people do.  he offers too much too soon.  at least, he does for me.  he thought i was hinting at wanting him to bring brunch to the office, but i was just sharing what my coworker marie and i had been talking about.  he had previously admitting trying to think of something to bring to my coworkers and me at st. david’s. which is too much too soon for me.  if people start a relationship offering so many gifts and favors, it feels weird when one gets on in their relationship and these things slow down. i like to start slower.  i am an independent girl.  he is a good kisser.  there is promise.  i have started to ask around, no one can give me much detail so far.  he is attractive.  we will see.

i really need to start chopping things.  i really just want to go to sleep. i think i may go to sleep and then wake up early and chop.  will that work?

gandalf is snuggled in the crook of my arm while we watch murdoch murders.  a dream come true! too bad this will end friday when i stuff her in box, take her to the vet and have her anal glands cleaned out. sigh.