Daily Archives: July 9, 2012

boy dilemma

boys like me.  they show interest in me.  they want to spend time with me.  but i think it is mostly sexual.  i am not actually surprised by this. i am a very sexual girl.  i strive to look “perfect” (not literally) all the time.  if i am being honest with myself, i guess i strive to look sexy all the time.  though i like the word “perfect” (in quotes) better.  i want to look the best i can in all environments (though this does not apply on the floor).  i wish i could think of another way of putting it. then there is my demeanor.  i am a very sexual girl.  but i am other things too.  clever, funny, energetic, friendly… but i guess the sexual part overwhelms the rest of me.  which isn’t to say i want to change, just that i would like boys to be interested in more of me.  now, if you are reading this and you are a boy who likes me, and likes me sexually, i am not hating on you.  not scolding you.  i am just contemplating how to put myself forward in a more well-rounded manner.  i REALLY want to come home a snuggle with a boy and tell him all about my amazing day on the floor (using no personal identifiers at all) and have him want to listen, want to share, want to experience my life, our lives, with me.  you know, just me.  not “just me” as in, i will hog him and expect him to be with me all the time.  but, “just me” as in, i am the girl they want to be partners with, to share with, and grow older with and have experiences with and have sex with.  finding a partner feels both like it should be really easy and that it is really hard.  maybe i am making the same mistakes with the boys i meet now as i did when i met patrick (please see previous blogs for early mistakes i made with patrick). anyhow, looking for a boy to snuggle with and share my day.