this week was full of rejection. there were a couple of bright spots. i did get an interview at st david’s south. it isn’t with the manager that i expected to call me, but still, it is a med surg floor and i am excited. had a great conversation with an HR person at brownwood. she is going to present me to the DON (director of nursing). and i am getting a recommendation from an instructor for that job. my housing situation seems to have been worked out. my new landlord is amazing. i am paying him 3 months in advance, plus deposit. had to max out a credit card to do it, but, that is just the reality right now. got to hang out with my friend kyle. boy toy called and offered to rub my feet. my classmates gave me lots of hugs in class when i started to cry because of an email i received. some of them have even offered some financial support (lots have offered rooms). so those were certainly bright spots. OH! and my rotation was in the ICU. it was amazing. i am definitely going to be working towards working in the ICU. yep, definitely.

my financial position is getting more bleak. i really need a job. i really WANT a job. i asked for some help this week and received a less than enthusiastic response. not quite the love i was hoping for. but something. also, a classmate received a call about an interview on the floor at St David’s that didn’t end up hiring me. of course, i was told there weren’t any more positions, but that doesn’t seem to be the truth. which is disappointing and seems terribly unprofessional. meanwhile more of my classmates get offers for their dream jobs. got the last two “thanks, but no thanks” emails from the positions i applied for at S&W. scored one point LESS on my second comprehensive exam. it was disappointing because i felt it had gone better this time. so much rejection. this is supposed to be this great moment in my life. i am accomplishing the biggest challenge i have ever attempted. i am going to be a nurse. and yet, i feel like the universe doesn’t care much. randomness seems to be getting me, even though i am fighting to make myself noticed as much as possible.

had an interview at a long-term rehab facility on friday. seems like they would offer me the job, but i don’t do much nursing. the RNs had out the narcotics, but mostly just deal with problems otherwise. though it is certainly caring for a vulnerable population, it isn’t very much nursing. i won’t get to use my skills much. i don’t feel i will learn much beyond the basics. it is nice to be wanted, for sure. that felt really nice. it was great to connect with people finally. but the pay is very low for this sort of facility as well. 2 more hospitals are possible. i am going to hang on to those. (my friend shirley has been helping a lot with non-hospital facilities. this woman is seriously connected.)

i just breath deep and keep moving. or at least i try. what i would like right now is a nap, honestly.