ok, lust

lust is what gives me the most desire.  still not sure about pleasure.  there are technically things in that case.  but lust.  boy toy and i, oh, yes, lust.  like “can’t make it out of the house before…” lust.  and as i think about it, i have the idea, though this is only an initial thought, that lust is what leaves long term relationships.  men still want sex, but do they keep lusting after their partners?  or does that get pushed aside with familiarity?  is lust THE honeymoon emotion?  but if i see that look in my partner’s eye, oh yeah, i am going to respond.  ok, ok, ok, there are certainly days and situations where lust isn’t going to be enough.  but even with this horrible, horrible, horrible week, i think i would have responded to lust.  so how do you maintain lust?  and how does that roll into pleasure?  seriously though, i think i am getting somewhere.

i received a very interesting email message today:

From: Qzpmwxonecib Doe <qzpmwxonecibdoe@yahoo.com> (i like that this is John Doe-type address!)

Subject: (No subject header)

to the mistress: who would you wish there weren’t unspoken barriers you could get past, who you have real feelings for, in a world full of otherwise disposables?

i would be unwise to place trust without protecting the question first. the heather i know would agree with this philosophy as she puts to practice.

and you need to be protected from the possibility that who you’re replying to is not gettting your answer without actually being that person.

so you can be assured that the answer can only be figured out by that person, instead of replying with a name, reply with something you’re reasonably sure only that person would know (and exclusive enough the reader knows it couldn’t be anyone else you meant).

this way, if the person you write to here isn’t who you’d hoped it was, it’s nobody’s loss. nobody has to continue beyond the answer.

this was my reply:

the person it is, should not fear to come to me directly.
and if it isn’t you, you should not be afraid either.
where it is true that i don’t easily place trust, it is equally, as true, that i don’t abuse the trust of others.
cheers. h.

i hope that i hear back from them.  i find this very intriguing.  as well as, fraught with possibility.

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