Monthly Archives: October 2011

i still feel boring

it was a productive weekend.  but nothing out of the ordinary occurred.  i truly did my bit as mrs robinson (no, not our program director) on friday night.  it was satisfying as always.  since i have started having sex again, i find myself highly aroused a lot.  i don’t remember ever feeling like this before.  sure, i have always had a very strong libido, but down right arousal?  this feels new.  and while it is nice, it is also rather distracting.  i’ll give it a week or two and see what happens.  i may have to rearrange my week if this persists.

well, i guess that wasn’t really boring.

cat update: we let optimus prime and mos def out to see if the capo would follow them back in.  it worked, sort of.  he ran right back out. but it is a start.  we are going to put in a cat door later this week and perhaps that will do the trick.  i just worry about other cats coming in.  they certainly walk in through the open doors.

we get our med surg exam back tomorrow.  i am praying for a pass.  let you know tomorrow.

an eventful week

i put in my first catheter.  easy-peazy!  failed my med surg test (or at least that is a strong possibility, i won’t be alone though, most of the class felt that way) and aced my dosage exam (at least i better have, it was easy).  sewed my first princess seams.  upgraded my mac to lion.  yeah, now that i look back, it wasn’t that exciting.  more fruitful.  anyhow…still trying to catch the capo.  he has been out a week and a half now.  we let everyone run inside and out today.  mod def and optimus prime both went in and out.  capo is still AWOL.  god, i am boring myself here…going to sleep.  perhaps i will be more interesting tomorrow.

at least my cold is going away

i caught a cold over the weekend. not surprising being that i am burning the candle at both ends and trying to get the middle started if possible. exhausted doesn’t cover it. stressed doesn’t cover it. someone make up a new word for just continuing to move in the forward direction.

the capo got out. my roommate jay has learned that cats are very clever animals. they can push windows open with their noses. he has been out since sunday. i sat in the door way for 3 hours last night. he almost came up to me. but he has pretty much gone feral and it is going to take many hours of just sitting behind the front door for him to come in for food. i hope he doesn’t starve to death first (and i am really glad this isn’t the dead of summer).

KS happened this weekend, and it was ok. it was also insanely exhausting. and i got really sick of the little things from all over the place. the team will be requesting help or shutting down the party. one of the problems with it being free, is we can’t bribe people to help. we’ll see how the list responds to our pleas.

i read an article that my friend mathew posted. all the single ladies. he posted it on G+ with the following comment: “No, gorgeous single women of my acquaintance, you aren’t imagining it.” assuming i fall into his gorgeous single women category (which i think i do), i find this article disturbing. and i am not sure i quite understand the main point. is it that our modern idea of marriage is unrealistic and wrong? is it that i am screwed because all the men left are broken? is that there is something wrong with me for wanting a partner? if, in fact, the new normal is to JUST have hook-ups and NOT have any dedicated relationships (notice i didn’t say monogamous), well, that does suck. i get their point about having intimacy with friends and extended family. looking to them for support (something i am trying to learn to do more). but your friends don’t always stay near by (or you don’t always stay near-by them, as in my case). partners, generally move with you. perhaps when i said to patrick that i wanted to be his wife but live in the flat next-door, i was expressing the desire for this not exclusive partnership. i agree with the article when it says getting too attached to your partner was discouraged in the past for good reason. and i certainly agree that the duel-wages with kids isolation isn’t good for society over-all (though totally necessary to have home in a safe place with safe transportation and such). and yet, i would still like a partner. some #1 person. because i don’t like the idea of shopping around for the support i desperately need, when i desperately need it. perhaps if we did live in commune types places, SOMEONE would be there? but would they know me that well? would it really be consoling? right now i am too busy to really feel the lack of a partner. i have a LOT on my plate and do have people i can go to when things get tough. and i am getting laid. so right now, the gorgeous single woman status isn’t such a big deal. but what about when i graduate? when i have free time again? when i want to go see a movie and it would nice to go with someone (not that my friends won’t go see movies with me, but you know what i mean). i got home at like 5:15 from the last KS. when i was finally crawling into bed, it started to rain. it sounded beautiful and i wished i had someone to share that moment with.

i am not sure where i am going with this discussion. the article was very thought provoking, and yet, i am not sure how to feel. i am not sure what i should be learning from this article. i liked being married. i like having a primary relationship. i think that i am way easier to date, in conventional ways, than most women (monogamy is not important, i really like my partners to have their own “worlds” (e.g., scooters, improv), i don’t need constant contact). but i also think i have intimate needs that i haven’t been able to express very well, or at the appropriate moments, that other women might not. or maybe they do. whatever. i just know that while i prefer the idea of dating whomever i want, i also prefer that to be combined with having someone of my own (though not only) to go home to.

am i doomed?

i am a gothic showgirl

i wish i had a photo to show you. i’ll get one out shortly.

exhausted. period. i am too old for this shit. mind you i love it all. but i can’t keep up. this week should be quiet. perhaps i’ll spend a night catching up and planning and then it won’t feel so exhausting. a girl can dream.

i’ll try and provide some detail on my latest adventures later this week.

so heather, what did you do saturday night?

well, i had sex with my 25-year old lover Ross, then we watched about 45 minutes of Dr Gunther von Hagens’ “anatomy for beginners” (WARNING: THIS IS A LIVE AUTOPSY!)

then we were hungry, so we went out for a snack. then we had more sex. then we went to sleep. in the morning, ross helped me get the seat on my scooter off (long story). it was a great saturday night!

my nursing class watched the beginners video in med surg class recently. i loved it! forensics and pathology are two areas i am really interested in. there is a whole series of videos. the one i posted is just one excerpt. and yes, this is the doctor from the body exhibit. i have never actually seen the exhibit (went to a mini one in austin). it came to stuttgart when patrick and i lived there. it was open 24-7 but the admissions line was still a 3 hour wait at 2am. we didn’t bother.

yes, it is odd having a 25-year old lover. sort of stereotypical, considering my cougar status. but we have been friends for almost 4 years, and he is really nice to me, and it’s fun. it has reduced my stress level IMMENSELY! and i need all the help i can get in nursing school.

blue is back! the kids are alright!
the kids are alright

blue has a special modified disk break now.

patrick rebuilt my precious vintage for me. i am so grateful and so happy to have it home! all i wanted to do was ride my scooter this weekend. but i didn’t. i studied.

this is my new moto:

clincals tomorrow. i’m ready.