just now it hit me. i want someone to miss me. it seems i am just too difficult, even being awesome, and people get to a point and they just don’t miss me anymore. i had this text message that andreas sent me in oct or nov that said “i can’t wait to see you!” i kept it and looked at it when i wanted to smile. it made me so happy. it was exactly what i wanted to hear. of course, when he broke up with me i deleted it. but i sure liked it. and just now i realized that is the emotion that i am missing in being single. someone who misses me. i want to be missed.