so, i found a flat in temple. it is across from the school. $685/mo for a 2 bedroom in the top floor. it is your basic college flat…beige carpet, pass-thru kitchen counter, fake wood paneling in the kitchen, accordion closet doors. very depressing. that is why i splurged on two bedrooms. it will keep my sanity a little better. i’ll crash at my friend Mo’s house in austin on the weekends. i take the flat on the 13th, but will move in on the 23rd, as it is the only weekend i don’t have a test monday. i’ll bring up a mattress of some bare bones items for that week. have to pack here, move there. i am going to beg friends to help me load a u-haul and then pay people to unload and carry it all up 3 flights in temple. there is an elevator here. this is just so stressful. it totally changes my finances too. way more for rent than i planned. but there just aren’t any rooms for rent in temple right now. part of me wants to paint the walls in temple, though i am sure it is against the rules. at least i would be able to make it closer to something that is me.

not sure why this experience is stressing me out so much. it just is. perhaps it is the additional thing up in the air in my life. another lack of permanence. another compromise. i am proud of myself for taking care of myself. but i am seriously stressed out by all the taking-care.

put the spare tire back on the cupcake tonight. got all greasy. it was nice.