So much to talk about this week. It’s been quite eventful. I’ll start with the ‘appropriate for all audiences’ stuff and move to the sex. Nana, I will warn you before I switch.

Well it’s official. OK, we don’t have the ‘meeting’ until Tuesday but I know officially our contract will not be extended. We return to the US in September. Funny. It feels weird. My life is here. Everything I do and all of my friends (OK certainly not all of my friends but I have a lot of friends here that we hang out with a lot) are here. And now we return to the US. No more going to a foreign country for the weekend. I’ll be able to understand what everyone is saying, mostly. 24-grocery stores. That hectic ‘must accumulate’ attitude. No more open bottles in public. Prudishness on a higher level. Germany is tough because things here are not as user-friendly as the States, but you adapt. There are those Sundays when you are furious because you forgot something at the grocery store and have to suffer until Monday. But you adapt. We feel this sudden urgency to travel again. I’m going to Praha with Friederun in March. We are going to Paris for Easter. Home for a wedding in May. London for our ‘Harry Potter Weekend’ in June. We still have to plan July and August. We are thinking of taking two weeks to travel in Sept before we return. Don’t know if that will happen. I know what a lame-duck president or Congress feels like now. I am so incredibly thankful for having had this experience though. I am a different and better person for it. I highly recommend living abroad to all Americans. It makes you humble and more flexible.

Honestly we don’t want to come home. Living abroad is too much fun. The European lifestyle suits us. The travel is fabulous. There was talk of local contracts. Being employed by German and not the US anymore. But, you see, I have these things called school loans and I have to make payments on them. With a reduction in salary, which I would take on the German payroll, and still having to make those payments, I wouldn’t just have to give up the shoe habit but the eating habit too (assuming I want a roof over my head, I mean without a roof, where would I put the shoes anyway?). I like the US. I am proud to be an American, even if I am horrified by my government. I just don’t want to live there. I don’t want to encounter a higher than normal number of ‘flaming Americans’ each and every day. I also fear those who don’t consider the rest of the world. My friends are intelligent and worldly people. They are sensitive to the fact there are other countries and cultures and attitudes and the US way is NOT the only way. But I fear those in US society, and we all know there are a lot of them, that refuse to believe there is anything better or even just equal or at a minimum good in a different way, besides the good ol’ US of A. I fear my lack of restraint in their presence. Saddam slaughtered some of his own people. We gave him the weapons to do so. It will be important for me to practice my walking away before I get home.

I am sorry if this all sounds really negative. It isn’t negative. It’s just shock. Though I knew I would have to be going home at some point. It is always different when you are faced with it. Yeah, it is 6 months away, but there is a lot to do in that time. I don’t hate the US or hate Americans. There are plenty of other people of other nationalities that are flaming something. It’s just change. Something I take head-on but is no less nerve-wracking than for anyone else.

On Wednesday night at 22:01 CET, 16:01 EST, I called my two congressmen, Senator Smith and Wyden as well as the Minority Whip Harry Reid. I tried to call the White House but the lines were all busy. I gave them the following message (I didn’t actually talk to the Senators but to their staffers).

‘President Bush recently said that he wanted every unborn child to have the chance to live. Apparently he does not feel the same way about the women and children of Iraq. Please give the women and children of Iraq a chance and let the inspections continue’
That was what I had written, though when spoken it was a little different. All the staffers were nice. 2 of the 3 asked where I was calling from. I said I was a registered Oregon voter, who voted, but lived in Germany on behalf of my American company. It felt good. I don’t know that it made a difference. But it felt good. I made an effort and exercised my right to free speech as well as letting those that represent me in the government know specifically how I feel. I think if more people did that, things might be different. But who knows how things would actually be.

I’ve rediscovered The Pixies. Every since I went to their show with my friend Alex, I have been turned off. But I was somewhere and heard one of the classics, ‘Where is my Mind’ or ‘Broken Face’, and I was in love again. The show was really horrible. It was just before they broke up and it was obvious that they weren’t getting on. They slaughtered ‘Gigantic’ and we left early. I was wearing an absolutely fabulous outfit that night. Floor length, black chiffon Empire waist dress with just undies and a bra underneath. It looked stunning. I met The Swedish Eagle that night (KROQ dj from way-back). Alex called him the next night, on-air and asked if he remembered me. He did. The description was amusing. Anyhow, we bought a few Pixies CD’s and have been enjoying the nostalgia and quality of their music. Frank Black and the Catholics rock too.

This week’s outfit was my big purchase instead of the Strenese Blue dresses last week. These are my H&M Punk pants. The have various buckles and lacing along the leg. They are a bit flared at the bottom in this picture but I didn’t realize they were like that when we took the pictures. Also, some how, these pants screamed ‘action shot’. So I went back to my original dancing photo method. Still in front of the great white door. Guess when we are looking at apartments we’ll have to make sure there is a space for our back drop. BTW, I cut most of my hair off. I have a mohawk now. Check out the hair page

OK, Nana, I think you are done. Thanks for reading.

This last Friday was bondage night. Last Friday of every month. In fact it ended up being a very special night. A twice a year club called Tabuzone. The place was packed. And it was extra special for us because we brought some of our straight friends. (Patrick and I are just a little bent but you all knew that). We had an English colleague, Scottish, 2 French and one German. They will remain nameless to protect the innocent. But they had a good time. The really fabulous thing about this club is that everyone is really friendly. More so than I have experienced in most ‘regular’ German clubs. No girls snickering at your outfit or diss you at the bar. A very inclusive society. No one pushes you to do anything you don’t want to do and at least in Stuttgart, it is still pretty mellow. One of the girls did have a guy ask to buy her a drink. He was wearing a thong and nothing else (oh yeah a little pouch on the waist of the thong for his money). There was a fashion show as well. Gothic 16th century dresses and corsets. They were cream and burgundy, as well as snake skin and, of course, one in black. Beautiful stuff. There was also a Japanese Rope Bondage demonstration. There was a gentleman from Hamburg, who came down for the event, who is well known for this craft. It was fascinating, though I mostly watched the video screens. I’d like to try it. I would have loved to be the tie-e that night, as I would feel safe with everyone watching and my husband there. The girl in the video looked quite secure and balanced. She looked a bit anguished but I sort of felt that was part of the scene. I wonder whether it is comfortable or not. There are lots of ropes and no body parts seem to turn blue, but often legs are sticking out or knees are bent. I wonder if that is uncomfortable. I think being suspended would be a wonderful feeling, sort of like flying and as long as you were with someone that is properly trained and you are comfortable with, it seems like it would be ultimately pleasurable. I doubt I’ll get the opportunity though. Just because Patrick was a Boy Scout and good with knots doesn’t mean I will let him suspend me. Everyone had a good time and most want to go back again. It was fun and everyone felt sexy. That is always a good thing.


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