is it me?

Or does everyone constantly get little cuts and scratches all over their hands, and body really. Sure, I realize that Patrick and I are clumsy but really most of the time I have NO idea how I even got the scratches. Lately I have had strange little round dry spots on my upper arm (Patrick too). I remember reading about these in one of my fashiom/beauty/health magazines, but I didn’t pay attention because I didn’t have the problem at the time. I am sure it has to do with working out. Speaking of such, I lost a kilo this week. I will probably add it back though. Today Patrick and I determined that I have tendonitis in my right foot just below my big toe. I have always had a problem with some shoes causing ‘feeling’ in this spot. It didn’t hurt before now but my right foot, in this spot, felt not like my left foot. I will have to severely restrict my shoe types for a while. The Coach stacked loafers are out of the question. It will probably be flats for me for weeks. Nothing tight across the top of the foot. Oh God what will I wear! Perhaps I will simply wear overalls for a month. That way I can wear my converse tied lightly. Patrick says I should be able to use the recline cycle so as not to give up my cardio completely, but this worries me. Like I mentioned last week, I have finally gotten to a point where I can run on the treadmill. And look where it got me! Damn! Wish me luck.

I found out this week my Friseur (haridresser) moved to Muenchen. Can you believe that? I am like the greatest customer on earth and he just moved! it is like when Mia got preggers and couldn’t do colour anymore. I am mortally wounded! It is a bit too rich for me to go all the way to Muenchen for a hair cut. I am going to try Toby, the guy that was recommended after Juergen, this week and go from there. Perhaps I will end up cutting it all off and just going to see Fiegen for colour until our contracts run out in Sept.

Also this week I found, and joined, a weight loss resource web site out of the UK. Mostly I joined to track what I eat and how many calories I burn exercising. It is amazing what you realize about yourself and your eating habits when you really start tracking them. Lattes are a big problem. I had taken up peanuts as a snack instead of Kit Kat bars, well actually, 60g of peanuts have 361 calories! 60 g is the size of the small bags they sell upstairs in the cafe. I’m surrounded! Anyhow, this website has really helped and I feel much better about my plan to get fit again. If I can get over the foot thing. Say a prayer to the Shoe deity for me.

I will be calling my senators and the White House this Wednesday at 4:01 pm EST. This is a virtual march on Washington done by MoveOn. Though it seems more inevitable than ever that we will go to war and thus be alienated from the rest of the world for MANY years to come, I still want to at least have a say. I really loathe Dubya and his war minded ways.

Patrick had to work this weekend. It stresses him out. Being that we have a definitive division of labor, his stress means I don’t eat, unless I feed myself, and we all know what that means. Anyhow, what is worse is that we he gets stressed he overestimates his coping abilities and then over commits and then I get pissed. If he were to say to me ‘Heather, I am in over my head this weekend, can we just eat out, or can you just fend for yourself’, then I am cool. But when he says he has it all handled, and I trust him because that is what you are suppose to do when you are married, and then when I arrive at the scheduled time and he is really stressed, well that pisses me off. Trust me, Patrick is no fun when severely stressed. Anyhow, we agreed that I, to start, would signal him when he is biting off more than he can chew, at least in my experience. Then he has to stop what he is doing, count to 10, take a few deep breaths and then think it all through again. This meant, this weekend, that I was on my own. It was surprisingly entertaining. He made dinner Friday night (Mom’s-style Lamb chops) but we went to Oblomow on Saturday and had Veggie Chili (which kicks ass by the way). I did the ‘shopping’ on Saturday so that we would have smoothies through Monday and while I was at it, I picked up a Kaese Imbiss (cheese snack). I went with a nice round number, ‘halb kilo’ (1 pound). For whatever reason I woke up early on Saturday and was out of the house by 10. I went strolling along Koenigstr and took in the stores. I was very good and just looked briefly at The Forbidden Store. There was a fabulous simple dress by a new designer whose tag I couldn’t make out. It was a mere 565 Euro. I headed to H&M. You are all familiar with H&M I hope. They opened in NYC this year with much fanfare. It is a mix between Wet Seal and Gap. The latest fashion, cheaply made and cheap in price. I slowly went through all the racks with black clothing. In the end, for a mere 70 Euro, I got a cool Chinese-like jacket shirt, 2 black t-shirts, one long sleeve, one sleeveless, a head scarf that is wide knot so I can pull pieces of hair through with a crochet needle (you’ll understand when I post it) and some hair clips. I was so happy and so proud! The whole day as I walked around I felt powerful and sexy. A great way to feel. I think a lot of it had to do with losing a kilo this week and the music playing in my ears. Me and the iPod go everywhere. I really think we’re I to have certain music in my ear at all times, I could do/be anything. Not that I want this. I think I want to work in a coffee shop. At least for a while. At the end of the day I made the mistake of going to Peek & Cloppenberg to see what Gabrielle Strehle had for Spring. I found 2 fabulous dresses from her causal line Strenesse Blue. One is super Goth with great cleavage and the other is an incredibly flattering little black dress. The wings look great. But I didn’t buy them. (Aren’t you proud!). I wanted Patrick to see and I wanted to sleep on it a few days. I am thinking now I shouldn’t buy them (they may be the casual line but they aren’t cheap!) but I still want Patrick to see them. At H&M I tried on a pair of punk/bondage pants that I want him to see too. They only cost $50. I am such a fashion whore. Of and if you see a t-shirt that says that, please buy it for me. I’ll pay you back.

Patrick’s Grandma, Nana/Pink, sent us this poem. Though normally I don’t like poetry (it is an immature rejection based on my inability to understand most of it, I admit) I like this one. It’s simple. Seems like anyone could write it, but didn’t. Instead Mr. Ferlinghette wrote it. Think Peace everyone.


– Lawrence Ferlinghetti

And a vast paranoia sweeps across the land
And America turns the attack on its Twin Towers
Into the beginning of the Third World War
The war with the Third World

And the terrorists in Washington
Are drafting all the young men

And no one speaks

And they are rousting out
All the ones with turbans
And they are flushing out
All the strange immigrants

And they are shipping all the young men
To the killing fields again
And no one speaks

And when they come to round up
All the great writers and poets and painters
The National Endowment of the Arts of Complacency
Will not speak

While all the young men
Will be killing all the young men
In the killing fields again

So now is the time for you to speak
All you lovers of liberty
All you lovers of the pursuit of happiness
All you lovers and sleepers
Deep in your private dreams

Now is the time for you to speak
O silent majority
Before they come for you


Copyright © 2003 City Lights Books
Lawrence Ferlinghetti is San Francisco’s first poet laureate (1998)
and the owner and co-founder of City Lights Bookstore.

This weeks outfit is a skirt I had been watching and watching in Stuttgart. It is DKNY and was $500 full price. Things don’t really go on sale in Germany though. Not even during the Winter and Summer Schlussverkauf (Sale basically). So when I stumbled upon this skirt at the DKNY store in the Beverly Center with significant mark down, I figured I must have it. Even Chelsea said it was totally me. Though like my Jill Sander skirt, I have a touch time finding something to wear on top. I think it will be easier in Summer. Cheers.

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