The 3rd Annual Patrick and Heather Beach Party in their flat!

On Saturday, February 16th in Stuttgart Germany... it was pretty warm...but we we didn't let that discourage us...

This year we bring you a real beach! Yep, that's sand you see all over our floor. No cats allowed!

Hey! How'd that cat get in here!

Bringing you a real life party experience through the web! We have smudged the lens of the camera early in the evening so you can look at the pictures as though you were there and had already had a few. This looks like a 2 Caipirinha fuzz don't you think?

Here we have Daniel (peaking around the side) and Bilge (who would be seen at an entirely different angle later in the evening) sitting in the nudist section completely breaking the rules!

It's the traditional 'bird's eye view' party picture. The question is who takes it? I don't have any friends THAT tall.

"Excuse me miss?" Carry (on right) says to Ratna (on left), "Yes?" Ratna replies all sweet and innocent. "Why are you wearing vinyl pants to a Beach Party?". "I'm funny that way" replied Ratna before joining the rest of her motorcycle gang in the nudist section.

 

Look! It's this year's sweet married couple picture. I think you guys are much sweeter looking than Eduard and Anastasia from last year. "Aw, thanks Heather" says Cinzia. As long as I am at it, I might as well mention that I am really impressed with Marc and Cinzia's love for each other. Cinzia's first language is Italian and Marc's is German. They speak English at home together. Talk about love! It speaks without their native tongues.

Here we have a dark out of focus picture of the hall! It was much cooler in the hall. This year seem to be the hottest year as people were asking to open windows at 10!

Here we have our early evening couch monitors. Caroline, in the middle has been trying for 3 years to make it to the beach Party. This year we actively coordinated dates, only for she and her man (far left obviously) to be under the weather. They made it though and they took care of the couch! Here you see Ulrike taking lessons on couch monitoring.
It's the 3 Billy Goats Gruff...no wait...it's the 3 Musketeers...wrong again...it's the 3 Wise Men...that's not it....oh yeah, I got it, it's the 3 Stooges! Happy, Slap Happy and Toasted! But seriously Basil (far right) made it to my party this year and I REALLY appreciate it. Basil is fun to have at a party!

 

"Orange Juice? Why do we need orange juice Darragh?" asks innocent Sindy. "To turn the Vodka a pretty orange colour silly Sindy!" And not just any Vodka! We serve only Absolute to our guests.

So David, the boy obviously, came as a Corporate Ad Beach Photographer (reference the Langnesse Ice Cream t-shirt). Problem is he is IN a lot of the photo's. Like this one here with Maria (far right) and Maria's friend who's name I didn't catch.

And here he is again. Doing, like, nothing! Notice our cool Mac setup for music in the background. All that was necessary for music was the monitor to show our catalog on iTunes and the mouse. We even had a beach scene screen saver.

Catching the cream of the crop, here we have the back of Bark Eater's head, Don's profile, Jessica's arm, the smudge of someone and Diane's happy pretty face.

"Wow, hey. This party is so cool! I could stay all night." Says Jenn to her party homechicks, Diane and Jessica. Both holding happy party drinks!

"Yeah, well see I'm at this really cool party and I can't possibly leave. What? You have Bon Jovi tickets?! I'm on my way." Now I realize it wasn't just their over dressing that sent Diane, Jenn and Jessica out into the night

"Dude! You got to be careful in the beach room. I was just in there and there was like this land shark cruising around. Man, I barely got out alive." "Sure, Phil. I think think you have been watching too many Saturday Night Live reruns. Want another beer?" said Dierk (left) to his good surfer buddy Phil (right).

This conversation really happened. Here we have Bark Eater trying to convince Don to take off his sandals so that the height difference between them is more fair, while Don's REALLY APPROPRIATELY DRESSED wife, Anette (take lessons from her people!) listens in amusement.

"And what you're saying is that you, Patrick, made this food yourself? Kitchens can be reconfigured for men then?" ponders Don in amazement at Patrick's culinary skill. "Actually Don it is a Darwinian survival tactic. If I don't cook, we starve."

I don't know any of these guys. Bilge, who said she was bringing one friend, brought two and then invited these guys up when they called her mobile. They were nice enough though really over dressed. Not my fault.

"You know Chris maybe we have under estimated the amount of room we have in our flat. I mean if Patrick and Heather can get a beach in their bedroom we should be able to fit our normal stuff." And here you have a glimpse of Sandra, Chris and their friend talking about Chris and Sandra's recent decision to move because they need more space!

'We are British and we love the heat!" Chant Carry and Sarah. They sit here in the 'regular' section of the beach with someone's friend (not sure who he came with but he's cute so who cares) having a drinkie-poo

And here we have Daniel (floor, far left), Bilge and her 'one guests', sitting illegally in the nudist section. I am really impressed with Bilge's friends posture though. Look at her sit on that ergo ball!

Bird's eye view. Who exactly takes these pictures?

Sindy and Eve puckering up for the camera!

Eva smiles at the camera through the men who wait on her with baited breath.

"This is a really great drink!" CLICK! "Oh, I'm sorry were you taking a picture?"

Here we have some of our neighbors and their friends talking about how insane we are. Don't deny it! I know that's what you were talking about.

Frank (white shirt) was a life saver this fine party night. Seems Frank is not your typical German and has an enormous amount of ice in his freezer. Thank goodness for that. It meant our Caipirinhas never ran out. I think.

"Wow Frank. Do you really have all that ice in your flat? Have you considered a winter party in Summer?"

"We are definitely moving, honey. These people are insane. Next they will have a real pool in their bedroom!" Chris, how did you guess that is next year's plan?.

And now! The moment we have all been waiting for! Darragh and Basil strip! ("Could you hold my drink, darling" says Basil to a lovely lady off screen)

AAAARRRRGGGGGHHHHH Stop! Stop! Darragh is shooting us gang signs in addition to his pallor skin. Too rich for my blood. We stopped the process and the rush of women was averted...this time.

"These people are weird." says Maria's friend to Maria. "Yes. I know" says Maria.



Yes Mom that is a Latex bikini I am wearing in the pictures above. I wore a sarong type scarf to hide my butt though. I also deleted the couple of pictures when SOMEONE caught a bit too much of what wasn't covered.

"Does yours Mother know you have this?!" asks Jenn about my belly button ring. "Um. Yeah." I stumble in reply...

"Look I told Ratna it was a Beach Party. Just because she wants to sweat like a really hot person doesn't mean we should judge her. She's just that way." Heather says trying to assure the rest of the guests that Ratna is not 'ready to rumble'. Note to self: must enforce dress code next year!
"Yes, hello I am a friend of Chris and Sandra's but I am not going to tell you my name. Haha!"

"Maybe if I hide behind this bottle of alcohol...oh I don't know. Why am I hiding behind this bottle of alcohol?" asks Jan.

" Ha ha. Darragh why are you laying on the floor taking pictures?"

"See over there honey? That is where they keep the dead bodies." Jan explains to Valerie. "Are you sure? I think that is a dresser with a computer monitor on top." "Yeah, but that is what they want you to think." Wow. that was random.

"I am happy and radiant. The beach has that effect on me."

"No Heather, we swear we aren't doing anything bad." Right Darragh. Just because you have nice, honest Juergen with you doesn't mean you are innocent. Hey, what happened to my

"Wow. Free beer. Just like last night. And the night before. I think I should stay home and watch tv more." Says Kai who left a bit early because it had already been a long weekend apparently. Can you believe he is German? Looks straight out of Westwood to me.


"So let me get this straight, you are here with your motorcycle gang to protest scantily clad beach go'ers. Doesn't that agenda conflict with the hosts goal of simulating a real beach environment?" Poses Carry to Ratna. "Well yes of course, but Heather completely understands." Responds Ratna in her perfect British accent.

GROUP PARTY PHOTO!

"Oh my God that is so funny!" What Maria? What is so funny? Tell us, we are dying to know!

Hm. What to say. This is Daniel, Marc and Cinzia. Daniel dressed as a true German at the beach. Hawaiian shirt, black shorts, black shoes and socks. Very cool.


Popular with the camera man! Cinzia and Marc!

Maria makes a wish..."Star light, star bright. First star I see tonight. Wish I may, wish I might, have another drink tonight"

"Think it'll work?"

"Hi I'm just out here with Martin (left) and Sascha (left) getting some air." Says Bilge.

"We should be downstairs studying." says Sandra, the Architecture student to her friend, also an Architecture student, I think. Unfortunately, I don't know ANYTHING about Architecture, so I couldn't help them. Guess we could have shown them how to build a beach in your bedroom. First remove bed...

"See Mom, I am totally sober this time!"


Bilge (the intern) says we are the greatest hosts she has ever met. Of course that was before the picture of her in the pool was printed and taped to her monitor.

"Patrick, I can't believe we are standing here on a beach in your bedroom!" "I waxed my entire body for this party."

Patrick and Ulrike get down! Look at that grass skirt go!


"So then, you didn't see the Land Shark in the beach room either?" Phil asks Heather getting desperate to find someone else that encountered the Land Shark. "Uh, no Phil. I didn't"

Party Bodies.

 


Sascha's beauty demon girlfriend Kerstin (look at the eyes if you don't believe me!)

"Wow, honey are they dancing to Britney Spears over there?" Kerstin says with a waver in her voice. "Don't worry. There just foreigners with taste VERY different than our own." "But Sascha you're wearing a skirt." "Yes, well, that is different."

"Yeah, I may be wearing a mutlicoloured lei but Sascha is wearing a skirt" Says Bark Eater through his camera smile.


Yeah, ok, I'm getting tired and losing my creativity. These are some of our happy party guests. Due to a stomach flu going around we lost about 10 guests that had confirmed. They felt bad for not making the party...in more ways than one.

"Well in Germany we do the Macarena like this!"

"Ah I love this song!"

Patrick and Ulrike enjoying some of the toys. Actually I found out later this particular quirt gun fight was staged since the camera man was NO WHERE to be found during the spontaneous one. Definitely going to have to see about paying the photographer in something other than 'Caipirinhas as he goes' next year.

 

You all look awfully innocent. By the way Frank, Sybille says 'hi'.

 

"Yeah, I made it. Check me out in all my beach-ified glory ladies!"

 

First Bark Eater was lookingThen he wasn't. What's up with that?

"Look, a cap on my nose!"

Whoa hoo! Dance!

Guess the identity of the guy in this shirt and win a free bottle (unopened) of left over Champagne. Cinzia and Marc not eligible.

 

Cleaning up sand is easier than you think!