I didn’t not realize it has been 3 months since I last blogged! sorry about that. time flies. seriously, days are a blur. November was insane. it was the second and then it was thanksgiving. totally bizarre. I suppose one of the reasons my last post was so long ago is that we changed my meds. my psychiatrist and I felt things at St. David’s were mellowing out, I was feeling more comfortable and confident. so we stopped a med (we discovered I had been taking a sub-therapeutic dose of anyway) and decreased one of my anti-anxieties. nope. wrong. bad idea. and I knew it QUICKLY. like in a week. so we went back on them and things got better. now I am spooked about changing anything but do feel that we should try again maybe after I have been with st. david’s for a year (March). anyhow, things are pretty good otherwise.

playmate is going well. attended shrine (a type of party in austin). it wasn’t what I had hoped, but it was nice to be around like-minded (about sex) people. even saw someone I work with there. we are going to try again and change where we go and at what times. we will see. in general though, great playmate and the sex does wonders for my stress relief.

baked 8 pies for thanksgiving. 2 blackberry, a pecan, a non-dairy chocolate cream and 4 pumpkin. I took two pumpkin and half a pecan to the office (I did not work that day). the night after thanksgiving I was both dismayed and delighted that my fellow nurses had not finished both pumpkin pies! I was dismayed because, HEY, I BROUGHT YOU 2 AND A HALF HOMEMADE PIES! but I was delighted because I didn’t get enough pumpkin pie up until that point so MORE PUMPKIN PIE FOR ME!

a sucky thing that has happened lately, and makes me feel weird, is in the last 2 weeks (maybe a month) 3 of my friends have been diagnosed with cancer. one colon mets to the liver, one nasal and one breast. was there with the them and the doctor in two cases. it just feels weird. these friends of mines lives are being threatened! they all have great prognosis so far, but still, they could die. how is that possible? are my friends and I too young? well, no, this is when that starts to happen. but I love these people.I told two of them I would go to every chemo appointment when I wasn’t working, even if I worked the night before. and I will. I will fight SO hard for them! but I will also respect their will. no “don’t give up” talks from me. that is mean. I will be there for them ALL. THE. TIME. the universe sucks. my dad is perfectly healthy (as far as we know) having smoked and drank his life away. and yet my friends, MY FRIENDS, have cancer. the universe is an asshole these days.

gonna have to leave texas if the supreme court overturns Roe v Wade. don’t want to leave my friends but cannot stay in a state that caused that. if they over turn it completely and abortion isn’t legal in any state, I will seriously look into moving abroad. canada is the easiest. i’d rather go to the UK. one step at a time.

my friend Joey, who owns The Glass Coffin: Vampire Parlor is having a “Naked People Reading” event and I wanna be a reader! do you think that would be a problem at work? I cannot decide. here is a picture of my halloween outfit at the grand reopening of The Glass Coffin.

I was in an article in the Austin Monthly about Death Positivity in Austin. it was weird. the whole first paragraph is about me. and I get quoted a lot. it is quite flattering but also weird. we have received a bunch of publicity as a result. supposedly a bunch of new people are going to show up this sunday. we will see what happens. I hope the people that are interested “get it” and aren’t disappointed because we don’t advocate or sell anything. it is a discussion group about death.

all my current round of condo-projects are complete. the spare bathroom is remodeled (see below). I built a new dining table (pictures don’t do it justice – no I did not lathe that queen ann legs, I bought them).next condo thing I want to do with have the entire place repainted (except the two bathrooms and my bedroom as those have already been done). that will cost THOUSANDS of dollars though. I want to replace all the internal doors with solid core doors but doors are expensive and then it costs just as much again to have them hung! perhaps I will just do one at a time. each door with cost like $600 so I can only afford one at a time. it would be great to get my bedroom and bathroom doors redone though. I should really start saving for that. it would look MUCH nicer with those doors rehung,