i play this stupid game all the time on my iPad. it is a game where you match things to eliminate them. it is mostly tiles. sometimes you need to use the tiles to eliminate other things or allow other things to move along a path or leave the board. there are things that get in your way. things that eat your progress. there are a few boards inside the game i like more than others. the one where there is a special tile you have to access to that starts a trail you have to attach to other tiles to. WHY do i enjoy this some much? when a row of tiles disappears (or attaches) it just feels satisfying. i assume this is the organizer in me. it brings me peace to see things in their place. that is all i can come up with. after remolding my bathroom (thus organizing in the new space) i have nothing left. and don’t even say anything about my other bathroom yet. i went $1000 over budget as it is. maybe next year.

i did organize files at work on Monday night (we only had 1 pt). there is a rack with folders with various papers with need. admission packets, report sheets, MARS. and it was a chaos. but now it isn’t. we have a book of signs that go on pt doors. they say things like, “Do not disturb”, “There is a cat in here”, “Do not bring food in here”. The book had a couple of category dividers, but not nearly enough. I sorted them, asked my coworkers if the groups made sense and then made dividers. There were a bunch that were just sitting in the interior pocket of the binder too. Now everything is put away and easier to find. very satisfying. SO satisfying. (and i didn’t throw anything out, just organized it).

i have gotten down to 140lbs. i want to get down to 130lbs. which is what i weighed when i started nursing school. that way everything will fit fine. i did do a big purge. stuff that has sentimental value, but i will never wear again. stuff i admit i just don’t like. stuff i will never be, and don’t want to be, small enough to wear again. not sure how to do it though. i learned in nursing school (and was surprised to learn) that the most successful way to lose weight it diet. but how do i change it? i cannot cook. my food tastes bad. i eat a lot of organic frozen meals. i snack on green apples and peanut butter as there aren’t a lot of other options (raw veggies give me tummy problems). i would like to try intermittent fasting but will my combo of day and night shifts there isn’t a scheduled i can follow. i thought about making me eating hours just night time. but when i work day shift i think it would be too hard. i asked a coworker who did it and she said it took about 3 weeks before she wasn’t hungry all the time. i don’t think i can do that at work. i think i would get lightheaded. sometimes i forget to at an that is what happens (or am too busy at work). do i find a nutritionist and ask them about my problem? how does one find a nutritionalist?

i need to devise a latter for gandalf to get to the shelves in my closet. currently she uses my clothing and had ruined a number of things. i have a long piece of sisal rope for a mother project. i thought of using that. but what kind of latter? could i just tie knots in it and then attach it to the shelf? do i need something with more structure? i’ll google it.

i am torn by the behavior of people during the pandemic. i know people that don’t wear their masks properly. that go places and take risks. SO many people are dying. medical staff is exhausted and getting sick too. i am stir crazy too. i am lonely. i am starved for affection. but i don’t want anyone to die. no one has to die. the torn part is, how do i tell people how i feel? strangers in the grocery store not wearing masks?no problem. but these are people i know. people i respect. people who surprise me with this behavior. i just don’t know what to do or how to do something.

another molar got yanked out. this time on a fiber gummy. it went back in. but this shit is getting old. and i am petrified that they won’t be able to get it back in on of these times and then say i need another implant. i cannot afford another implant. my teeth scare me. very unpredictable.