i’ve had some time to think.  my relationship with michael, in sf, was exactly what my friend from last night has to offer.  only i don’t have a husband this time.  and, sure, patrick and i were struggling, but i felt a bond with him.  we had a whole life together and michael and i only had a once or twice a week great dinner, chat and sex relationship.  what michael and i had was great but it was limited.  as me and my friend would be.  when i was only looking for playmates, that was fine.  EXCEPT i was bad at keeping it playmates.  and with this person it would be even harder.  cause there are no red flags with this person as there have been with my last two playmates (well, accept he is married).  i want someone to come to my things, i want to go to my partners things.  i don’t need marriage, but i do need to spend time together.  i don’t need every day, every moment, or even a date to every event.  but i do need more than great conversation, dinner and sex.  sucks.  i REALLY like this guy.  and i haven’t liked a guy like this in a while.