i wore a fabulous new dress out last night.  i found it on etsy.  it was homemade, but fit like it was made for me.  it was really stunning.  i received many compliments.  most of those people were drunk, but not all.  i have had men look at my boobs first and then look up and start talking to me, but last night a boy talked to my boobs.  i actually had to say “my eyes are up here.”  the vast majority of my friends were REALLY drunk.  it was amusing and cute while dancing at the club (though the band was horrible) but when i gave a few of them a ride to someone’s house, omg, it was annoying,  i really just wanted to dump them out in the rain.

it was weird.  i had a wonderful discussion about a vampire movie set in austin with cassandra’s ross.  we were perplexed about how there wasn’t a vampire movie set in austin, being we have the bat bridge and all.  so we came up with a story line and want to develop a website about an already released movie.  ross even wrote out a treatise for the film.  if i could stay awake long enough, i would work on my part of it.

i realized, with all the drunk people hitting on me, this dating thing is WAY harder than i expected.  i used to be able to have fun and play with the drunk people.  but i want more than that, so i have to avoid them (which, honestly, isn’t a big deal now that i see those types of interactions as the unfulfilling use of time they are).  which means, this whole find a partner thing, involves a lot of time.  i think the hard part is the time.  mostly, i think i just have to get to know someone, enjoy their positive traits, see if i can live with their negative traits (and vice versa).  but you have to do it SO many times.  or so it seems.  it there time?  hope? it’s kind of scary to think i can’t just establish a relationship the way i always have been, accidentally.  but at least it was something?  no, not really, it isn’t that.  it was that i had hope.  i don’t have as much hope now.  granted, part of that is my age, which is silly, except the reality is the numbers are against me.  anyhow. it was nice to get all the compliments, it was useless to get them from whom i received them from.  whatever.

why am i so tired?  i think it might be my new lenses.  i think there is something wrong with them.  i find it hard to see in all three depths.  my eyes are working so hard to keep up, it wears me out.

next weekend, when i have money again, i am going to take down at least the shower doors in my bathroom.  a little something i can do to improve the place that increases my remodeling skills and hardly costs anything.  the largest cost will be the shower bar and the new curtain, actually.  i am excited.