which we obviously need. and i wanted to start with something positive.
my therapist tells me i should go on lots of dates. i need to do this to: weed out the “losers” and expose myself to the most people to figure out what i am looking for in a partner. i don’t know that i have the energy for this, but what choice do i have? (do NOT give me platitudes that i am so awesome i will easily find someone. i KNOW i am awesome, but that doesn’t mean my matching awesome partner is out there for me to find). and really, i don’t even know what type of person i want to date! i really liked patrick’s nerdiness, but then he generally only conversed about a single topic for months! (first scooters, then computers). she also wants me to take the reference to being “sex-positive” out of my profile, because “men are base”. ugh. (i don’t doubt her on that)
my therapist also suggests trying weight watchers to lose the weight i gained when i started back on nights. it makes me sad, but nothing is working and i feel yucky and my clothing doesn’t fit. i am still gorgeous, but that is mostly an attitude thing. which it always has been. i can’t afford to replace my wardrobe.
US history class fairly entertaining. too much work though. i’ll know more after my first test.
i need a nap. i am going to be out all night tonight. i have a fantastic new dress. life goes on, i know that.
i am going to take out the shower doors in my bathrooms and put in curtains. i am excited about the plan! being landed-gentry is fun.
I thought about this, and here’s my possibly useless advice: I think you should go to as many speed-dating events as possible.
Here’s my reasoning: You don’t know what you are looking for in a partner. However, you seem to be pretty quick at identifying when you’re being presented with something that *isn’t* exactly what you’re looking for. In particular, you seem to be able to decide after one or two dates, which is pretty rare. You’re also clearly very particular about what you’re looking for, even if you can’t articulate what it is.
So yeah, I think your therapist is right and you need to go on lots of dates. And I think that the structure of a speed dating event would probably work well for you, even if you didn’t like it or enjoy it — not just because you’d get a lot of data, but because the environment would also play well with your independent businesslike initial demeanor, and show you in a good light.