my site got hacked. sent out TONS of spam. my hosting service was totally not helpful. so i am now hosting somewhere totally new. it is top secret though. of course, i have to rebuild things now. and that will take a while. i need new men in my life too. as much as i adore those that were on my page…most of them live VERY far away.
ANYHOW…
i’ve been a hospice nurse for a little over 2 months now. and i love it. and i am good at it. i have learned TONS about disease and treatment. i have been a part of a number of people’s lives. it has been wonderful. i have found my place and it feels great.
i need a relationship change. i am going to make that change. it has been terribly discouraging lately trying to meet men who are potential partners. most of the single men my age have kids. i don’t want to be a step-mom. those a bit younger than me what to have kids still. i suppose i can wait them out and see who is still available in a couple of years. which is a terribly depressing thing to even think. but the last 2 men i have been excited about have both wanted kids. and i can’t do that. not now. i have a great life these days, and yet i feel lonely. and that seems stupid. part of it could be the families that i become a part of for a little while during care for my pts. i really do sort of join their family. i hear the good and the bad. i struggle with them. i hug them, i laugh with them. i haven’t cried yet. but mostly that is because i have a job to do when i get there. and i concentrate on that. money is leveling out. life is good, but i am lonely.
i think i am getting really old. because i am getting really boring.
going to an adventure party tonight. we are supposed to bring an object and then make up a story about the adventure we went on getting said object. i want to tear up some clothing, roll in the dirt, then fall against the front door. when they open the door i will fall in and tell them to close the door quickly, the natives are after me. when they ask why i will say, “because i stole their sacred religious icon” and hold up a starbucks cup or some other commercial item. guess i should get on that…
sorry about the hacking but so glad to know you are alive and loving hospice.