more and more complicated

i got stuck by a pt needle on wednesday morning.  it was when i was giving the pt heparin.  i think it happened because i was so tired.  ironically, i was less than a week from being off quarantine from my last stick.  the common thing here is me.  the super bad part is that the pt tested positive for hep c.  there are doing a further test to gauge the viral load.  it could be a false positive of sorts.  also, considering i was giving a medication (not drawing blood) and the needle was super small and the pt didn’t bleed when i stuck them, the chance of transmission is super low.  but not zero.

i feel like i am turning into this beautiful, smart, awesome girl who is too complicated to date.  too many issues to love.  who is going to risk their health to try dating me?  i suppose it is just another condom thing, but it is the trend.  i am danger prone.

there is a new book that came out recently “VoiceMale—What Husbands Really Think About Their Marriages, Their Wives, Sex, Housework and Commitment”.  though the number of interviews was small (70) the results made sense to me.  basically it argued that both men and women are happier in their relationships when their partner does things that make them feel equal.  for men, they report they are happier with their sex lives when the woman initiates sex regularly.  yep, i’d agree with this one.  the fact that i am the “aggressor” is part of why i think men enjoy having sex with me as they do.  for women, it is equality of housework.  NOT that men do the same amount, but that they feel the men’s part is “fair”.  “it doesn’t count if i have to tell you to bring me flowers.”  same with house work.  i agree that i have wanted to feel equal in my relationships and rarely have.  i really think, only michael (my boyfriend in sf) made me feel equal.  of course, ours was not a “complete” relationship.  anyhow, i want to read this book.  i may pick it up after my current class is done. it is only available in hardcopy right now (sheesh!).  but i think it might speak to me.

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