kinda crazy, huh?

i was so busy during break.  and it wasn’t studying.  when break started, i thought i was going to be bored.  not so much.  i think i gained 5 pounds too (and not just because of all the polish food at grandma’s funeral…damn that was good polish food…)  but i am back in school now.  and WOW.  is this term going to be nutso.  seriously.  volunteer time, cardiology, neurology, professional group attendance, 2 days as charge nurse, clinicals, OB, research paper.  SO much to do.  i wish i had an assistant.  but this is the last term.  of course, one of our instructors informed us that there is no longer a nursing shortage in texas.  there is a shortage of EXPERIENCED nurses.  and seton, one of the largest groups in texas, has declared it will no longer hire ADN RNs as of 2014.  why does the world get harder minute-by-minute?

the latest KS was this weekend.  i had planned on being Emma Peele (it was a soy theme) but the leather catsuit i have looks more like a russian spy.  so i donned my russian military hat (they were selling EVERYTHING soviet for CHEAP in Hungary when i lived in europe) and went with russian spy.  i was quite clever too.  we had a traitor scene during the midnight entertainment and our traitor never saw it coming!  it was beautiful and awesome and i need to find more people to play with.

i need to write an advance directive.  this is a medical document that says what sort of medical treatments you want/don’t want if you are rendered incapacitated.  just saying.

i dated a bit over the break.  nothing was earth shattering.  i wonder if that is because i just didn’t meet anyone that i connected with, or if the stress of my life just leaves me unable to connect?  i am awfully tired.  i told my therapist this.  i said that i just don’t seem to be able to do everything i used to do.  i used to be able to look at a list of to-do items and put them in the most logical order without even trying.  now i can’t even remember all my action items.  it is discouraging and i don’t know if it is nursing school or age or what.  my therapist suggested that, as i wasn’t depressed (i didn’t express things in a depressed manner) that it might be nursing school or it might be physiological.  she then said she was on a Vit D kick, as she and a number of people she knows have recently discovered a deficiency, or at least really low level.  she started taking fish oil and 6 weeks later felt much better.  it would make sense that my Vit D was low.  i sit indoors and study all the time.  when i am out, i avoid the sun like it’s the plague (which it kinda is for skin).  i don’t drink milk.  so i am trying Vit D supplements.  we’ll see.

we talked about being positive today in class.  we talked about saying to ourselves that we can do it.  that we studied and we have done our best.  i just worry i am not studying right and i could do better.  but i am not sure how.  and i am not sure what resources to tap.  one of the freshman instructors said that she read all the chapters BEFORE the lecture, wrote questions she had as a result of the reading, then just listened during lecture, and went back to write up what she thought AFTER class.  seriously?  there aren’t enough hours in the day.  i am organized (or, well, not so much right now) but with ALL those pages to read!  how is there time!  but i want to do my best.  i am just not sure how.  which is just stupid.  i need to stop writing right now.  i am starting to upset myself.


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.