i hate to be so negative all the time, but things just aren’t that smooth these days. this week was particularly trying. highlights are:
-i failed a test (but so did half of the class, which WE think makes a point about the test)
-i was accused of snitching on a fellow classmate and ganged up on (that classmate doesn’t think i did it, but others do)
-the capo busted out of the flat by kicking (or more likely nosing) out the screen on the window

i didn’t even know they had gotten loose until i heard optimus meowing by the window, but could’t see her. i walked over and saw her standing on the ground looking up like, “mom, i want to come back in”. i brought her in, put on some shoes and went out looking for the capo. he was near by. i left the side door open and he walked back in. then i shut the door and he went bonkers. he does ok out front unless someone comes along. then he freaks and runs off. then he can’t remember who i am and i can’t get him to come back. i really need a GPS with a stun option as an under skin chip.

i am afraid i am going to fail out of nursing school. i took a legal/ethical test today and i think i just though TOO hard about the questions. i’d make a great attorney because i contemplate it from all sides and come up with even the most random possibilities. but in just analyzing, well, i want to ask more questions. i have come up with 4 questions i missed on this test. i can miss 5 and still pass (there were only 25 questions). i hate short tests. i have realized that my study style isn’t good for nursing. nursing is a LOT of straight memorization. one of my instructors said today that i am good about putting info together and drawing conclusions. which i completely agree with. it is “what is the normal range for potassium levels in the body” that i suck at remembering. and just straight reading, doesn’t help me much. i am interactive. i ALWAYS attended lectures in college. being taught the material and being able to ask questions to assimilate the info into my thought process is how i come to understand things. that isn’t how this works. unfortunately, i have not found a way to make up the difference with the memorization stuff. any ideas anyone?

my problem in clinicals is something very typical of my personality. i am getting good at not being afraid to do things. i did an enteral feeding 2 weeks ago, no problem. my problem is pushing myself on the client to get their vital signs or to do an assessment. in the long term living environment, it is like their home. as i hate calling people asking them to vote, because i feel like it is an intrusion in their privacy, i feel the same way with the clients. but THIS i need to get over. i can’t push myself on them, but i need to remember that what i am doing is to help maintain their health, so it is something that needs to be done for them (of course, people voting is helping themselves too but…) i think in a hospital environment, it would be easier to go in their room and get it done. the acute care environment is more “intrusive” oriented. but i will need to do it anywhere i work, so i need to get over my fear and get it done. other than this feeling, i am really enjoying the clinical location right now. being a nurse, assuming i get there, is going to be awesome!