the waiting!

the waiting is killing me. of course, i do need the time to study, but i just want these tests to be over. i don’t remember ever feeling this way about finals in the past. i’ll tell you a secret though…***shhhhhh*** i have to whisper…in reviewing my notes, and all the stuff i learned this term, i can’t wait for the new term to start. i want to learn more cool stuff….

i use to spend the majority of my time on this blog talking about how i saw the world. what my experiences were and how i reflected on them. i think that is a luxury the financially secure have. with my life still sort of up in the air, with working hard to learn a new trade, i haven’t had much time to focus on anything but learning and studying. i just don’t have time to contemplate things that happen because there is too much happening. or at least too much homework. what does that mean? my therapist and i had a conversation (ages ago, when i was still seeing a therapist) about morals and having time for them. if you live hand to mouth, you live on minimum wage, do you have time for morality? seriously, aren’t you just trying to get by day-to-day? and even if you do have food and shelter, when you life is constant toil with all the plenty around you yet out of reach, do morals (like don’t steal/cheat) really make sense? i saw one scene from Titanic. a woman was in the stairwell with her daughter. the daughter asked what was taking so long. the mom said “they have to let the 1st class passengers in the boat, then it will be our turn”. a stampede for the boats wasn’t the answer, but why let 1st class go first? should people just accept their socio-economic position and the struggles that come with it? one might say, “well, study hard and do better!” but how is that reasonable when our schools are not a right but a privilege (a privilege that is required until you are 18, which seems contradictory). anyhow, not having time to think about morality because of the changes going on in my life right now makes me wonder how reasonable it is to expect everyone to be “moral”.

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