it suddenly dawned on me that i don’t feel like i really did anything in my job after returning from europe. i think part of that was my fault and part of it was HPs. they just never put me in the right place after i came back to the US. the jobs i found weren’t right for me either. not really. a couple things come to mind as useful, real work. finishing that project for the SAP team just before i went to work for tax. finding a way to cut that check to apple. those were real work. nothing else really. i want to do something that is worthy. fixing the shipment report was worthy. it made a bunch of lives much better. that is why i think i will like nursing. of course, a lot of things i can make better for people. perhaps that is why the e-room would be best. a hospital for sure. being a doc’s assistant won’t work because people don’t follow directions. that is what is missing from my life though. worthiness. i want to do something worthwhile.