i won’t get to the patients until the end of the summer

i think one of the reasons i have not been more successful in life has been my inability to do things slowly. gotta build a spreadsheet with 20 pages and lots of linked data? no problem. need to sit down and figure out unix. not so much. it isn’t that i don’t like to learn. i love new stuff. i loved the unix commands i did learn. i just need movement. this is why i am good in crisis but not so good at waiting for someone to reply (though i have gotten much better in the last 11 months). if i could learn to slow down, take things in at a pace conducive to learning, i think i would be much more successful. then again. i rush through my grammar, but i always wanted to take the time to come up with analysis on the problems we were trying to solve. in studying i don’t think to go through material slowly. but i do like to review things. maybe i am just impatient? yoga would probably help, but it is just too slow for me! you see the problem. but this is a serious topic. i think i need to learn to slow down. i really think it would help. then again, maybe i just rush through things i am afraid of? or don’t like? i don’t know. but i do feel like i am on to something here

did my training day at secret oktober yesterday. i am going to be watching the store next saturday so cassandra AND mary can go on the goth booze cruise. it is cassandra’s birthday and she wanted the day off. i have always wanted to help out at the store so it all works out! i doubt i will do this regularly, the girls have it covered, but it is nice to be able and help out. training was fun in that we had a excellent day at the store. we sold 4 corsets! in the dead of summer! lots of scene people came in. i recognized them in one way or another (mostly collars and comments about how people would feel about their outfits). i think being able to speak their language helped. will be there next saturday from 12-8! come down and see me!

haven’t been able to control my eating lately. i think it is because i am so bored this summer. nothing to do so i get the munchies. but it is starting to be a problem. so many dresses i can’t wear now. i need a fitness cheerleader. i need structure in my life. of course, what i want right now is ice cream. i think i will walk to walgreens. at least i get exercise that way.

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