No, I am not talking about Dubya, though he is. Actually I am referring to myself and the breathtakingly stupid thing I did last night. I put petrol in my diesel Mercedes and then drove about 10 minutes before realizing it. I was driving my friend Ben home to Tuebingen and though I had enough fuel to get him home, thought I would fill up. We got to the gas station and he, being the polite boy that he is, offered to pump. He asked what kind. I said ‘the cheapest’. Duh. I guess I made the mistake because a) I don’t put fuel in the car often as we don’t drive it much thus rarely need refills and b) when I do put fuel in, I do it on autopilot and just know to pick up the diesel nosal. I am not blaming Ben in the least, I said the cheapest and meant regular petrol. Duh. Anyhow, we weren’t sure what to do with the car and it was 3 am by now. The gas station I pulled into didn’t want me to leave it but now it wouldn’t start. I promised to be back at 8. Ben and I took a taxi back home and he slept in the spare room (then took a train home this morning). Luckily, I had brought my PC from work home and had an email for the Fleet service web page. It listed an emergency number and everything went pretty well after that. OK, we towed it to the wrong dealer, but it will get to the right one on Monday and taken care of. No big. We don’t expect any major damage, but if there is, I will pay for it personally. No reason for HP to pay for my stupidity. Boggles the mind doesn’t it? Maybe HP should reconsider the management thing…

Two new links this week. There is now a link to Patrick’s page OopsClunkThud.com. I am doing this because he is my husband and I should have a link to him. But actually I am doing it because OopsClunkThud is hard to remember how to spell correctly and people want to check his recipe page. I’m doing it for YOU. The other link is my KAOS link. Remember KAOS and CONTROL from Get Smart? I have all sorts of weird pictures that don’t really fit in any of my other pages but I think you would all be amused, maybe. OK truth is I have just always wanted to get KAOS on my page some how. Blah, blah, blah.

South Side was great. Patrick and I were the only two non-sunburned people there. People were walking up and asking us for some sun block as we stood and slathered it on for the 5th or 6th time. The Chili Peppers were awesome. Garbage was awesome. No Doubt didn’t seem to be able to get the crowd going. We saw ‘Black Rebel Motorcycle Club’ and they were really great. Patrick really loved them. We didn’t stay for New Order and now I am glad we didn’t. They have started playing all the Joy Division catalogue. Isn’t that sad? New Order was created because the Joy Division died with Ian. They must need cash. Oh, and the part of the story you are all waiting for? No, I did not end up car camping. Turns out the site was only an hour by car (at German speeds) from Stuttgart so it seemed silly to sleep in the car. I do have a picture of myself sleeping on the grass next to the car in between bands. It was scratchy.

We were in Hamburg the next weekend (last weekend) for Willie Nelson. He was awesome. He is 69 years old and still sounds awesome. He doesn’t seem to go for the high notes and did some strange cording with the songs as a result, but it sounded great. I was really bummed they didn’t have concert t-shirts. It was pouring down rain and he seemed to sort of giggle at us all standing there drenched in rain hats and ponchos. He didn’t sing ‘My Heroes have always been Cowboys’ but he did sing ‘Mamas don’t let your babies grow up to be Cowboys’. It was really awesome. I am so glad we went. Patrick really loved it too. The picture is me standing before the downpour, happy at the show. Lots of people there that looked like they just walked out of some greasy diner in the middle of nowhere Texas, only they were speaking German. It was weird. We were definitely some of the youngest people there. If you get the chance, I recommend that you all see Willie play. His music is really good and it is a happy occasion. He does a lot for the farmers of the US too, so we should all support that at least.

Hamburg is awesome. The shopping kicks butt! I got a cool wrap-around tiered skirt by a German designer I had never heard of, ON SALE. Love that. I got two shirts at the Gabriele Strehle Strenesse store. One was on sale and one was new for the session. Great cleavage on both. I was blessed with that for sure. We went to a coffee shop that had Mochas and sold to-go cups like you buy in the US. I bought one with coffee drinking Angels. Can’t have enough of those since I drop them and you can’t buy them in Stuttgart. And finally the coolest thing about Hamburg? We understood the German! They speak, according to Friederun, Flat German, which basically means clear without an accent. It was awesome. The customer service was the best I have ever experienced in Germany. Also the architecture was beautiful. It was very flattened in the war but they rebuilt well. I recommend the city to anyone visiting Germany.

What else? I’m still having a Mom/Boyfriend (his name is Ken) crisis, but I think it is too personal, for them, for me to right about. It hurts a lot. I mean a lot a lot. But I can’t really say more. Suffice to say I have cried so much I am sick of crying. It’ll work out, of course, but with how much more pain? Oh well. That’s life.

The new job isn’t currently going anywhere. My new boss would actually be someone in the US (which I don’t like, not that I don’t like her, but that I don’t like having a remote manager like that). They still don’t have the head count and my current boss is not happy about having to deal with a transition. I see LOTS of overtime in my future. I don’t know. I have figured out what I want to be when I grow up and I talked to Andreas Fassbender this week who is currently doing what I think I want to do. I need to work on my ability to turn negative comments into positive information and something we can take action on. He recommended a book and a class. I bought the book, I have been trying to take the class for two years but they keep canceling it when I sign up. My worry is that I have been beaten down by the system and my enthusiasm is waning. I don’t feel effective anymore, and I don’t care. That is bad. I’ll find a way. Just a bit lost. People keep saying…’when the merger is over’…but before that it was something else and something else before that. After the merger, it will be something else. I just can’t seem to find a way to work within the ‘until it’s over’ which never ends. Any tips?

Enjoy the KAOS. Try the recipes. Think healthy thoughts and adopt a lonely old cat from the pound this week. Cheers.